A Revolution of Sorts

Wow, so, from the time I stopped to the time I am now writing, GameTap has taken.... a weird turn.

I do not know about anyone else, but I feel this new design change to GameTap seems like a step down. The menus seem more clunky than they ever were, game titles load in at a staggering slow pace, and my beloved Wheel is now noiseless~! It's as if my master has been castrated....

And above all that, it now seems games can be taken off the service. I did not plan on this, but it does not change my over all goal. With that said, the Wheel has wheezed into my ear, and it has said this.

Shark! Shark!
Intellivision, 1982

Been a while, I know. I am sorry. And, as usual, The Wheel makes sure to make me realize that I should love this job.... I think.

Shark! Shark! is a game about a fish. A fish that you control in what seems like a tiny fish tank. Which seems to ruin the illusion when you realize it is supposed to be an ocean. Oh well.
So, you swim around, you dash, you stop... and other fish do the same. And then a Sark comes! i guess thats where the name came from. Was beginning to worry there. So yeah, you then avoid the Shark or not. And thats about it. If you avoid him, he swims away and comes back again and again. If not, you die. Simple as that.
Now, this may have been fun back in the day, but my lord, it is as boring as could be.

Gametap says (for some reason) 7.4, I say 3. A definite delete.

Lets go for as many as I can stomach, shall we?

1942
Capcom, 1984

Ahhh, who doesn't love the 19xx games from Capcom? I must have dropped at least $50 into 19XX at my local arcade back in the day. But, where did it all come from? Well, it all started with 1942, the very first game in the series. Does it live up to it's successors legacy?

Well, yeah really. It was all very simple back then. You have a plane, and it has guns, which you shoot at other planes. Oh, you can also do a loop to avoid bullets. Simple and classic really. There are power ups, yeah, which just make your bullets wider and more plentiful. I recommend playing with a gamepad though. The keyboard is painfully imprecise.

Really, I'm glad I got to see where the series began. You can easily see the roots of the greatness that would follow it. A must play.

The GameTap peoples say 6.6. This I cannot understand, and give it an 8. Kept.
34 of (now) 952 complete.

Pac it Up Pac it In

So, a few weeks ago, I bought the stellar Pac-Man Championship Edition for the Xbox Live Arcade (which if you have Live and don't have it, go get it now), and would have to say it is probably the single best version of Pac-Man I have ever played. Now what does this have to with anything?
Well, I was spun to Super Pac-Man and.... wow...

Super Pac-Man

What happens when you play the best version of a game? What happens is all other version feel... lacking.

In Super Pac-Man you, you guessed it, avoid ghosts and eat things, including the ghosts. The twist in this one, considering Ms. Pac-Man added the amazing ability to go from one side of the screen to the other, is you have to eat keys to open pathways to pellets, super pellets, and fruits. Not to mention for some reason you turn around 5 times larger, I never found out why. Didn't care to much. As the game felt seriously flawed compared to the original, whose perfect elegance outshines every sequel (including Pac-Man CE).

But does this make Super Pac-Man a bad game? Not by a long shot. This, compared to many other games on Tap, is actually very playable and fun, if not flawed as stated. I do indeed.

Gametap says this game is a 7.3, I agree, with a 7.
But, it is a delete.
30 of 987 done.

A Return to Grace!

Ok, so, I'm done with the book. Yay! And without further delays, more reviews!

First game:

Wonder Boy III: Monster Lair

Ahh, Wonder Boy, you magnificently confusing title. With spin-offs and multiple crazy named sequels, like Wonder Boy VI: Monster World 4, and your entire Adventure Island break offs, its amazing you came from such humble roots of mediocrity.

Really, this game is a horribly boring forced side scroller, by which I mean the screen constantly shifts to the right, propelling you always forward, with somewhat passable controls, and a mechanism where the main character must constantly gorge himself on the food that flies past him, or else he dies.
But, it is true, as you play this game, you can easily tell it was made to suck down quarters, with it being just passable enough that it could be the best game in the arcade, or at least, the one you get stuck on while your older sibling takes over the better, more enjoyable cabinet.

The Tappers say 4.7.
Mookie say 5.0.
Deleted.
21, out of now 960 games, complete.

Rolling Thunder 2

Ahh, the Genesis. As I have noted before, I did, and still do, have a Genesis. But, as I may or may not have said, I did not have or get as many game for it as I did my more loved SNES. But that doesn't mean the Genesis did not hold secret games of awesomeness that I overlooked as a small child. Could this possibly be one of those games?

Bah, I didn't even bother to get a good gameplay pic for this game. And it really looked like it had potential!

Rolling Thunder 2 is basically just a very lukewarm sidescrolling shooter. The character model is very stiff, you can only shoot while standing still, you can't jump in any direction but stright up, and the enemies ranger from idiotic to cheap. Nothing really else to say about this, but, if you like sidescroller shooters like Gunstar Superheroes, go ahead and give it a try if you want to play a cruddier version of it.

Tappers say 7, Mookie says 6.
Deletion indeed.
22 out of 960 complete.

Right Back Into It

Ok, so I accidentally published the last post before actually getting all I wanted to get into it. So I took a small break to check on other things real fast. You know, went for a walk, ate some pizza, talked to some family.

Wasn't much else to do so I came back, spun the wheel and got another Atari 2600 game, and again, this one has a fairly good score at 7.7, so, well, without further adieu I give you:

Pressure Cooker

Ok, so, a weird chute fires various burger ingredients at you, as orders for certain burgers with certain ingredients are given to you, you must make these burgers and get them out in due time.
Took a bit gettin used to it, but it was fun. Wasn't my cup of tea though.

Gametap has it at 7.7, I say it deserves about a 6.
8 out of 958 games complete.

Well, that one wasn't that interesting, so, lets hope for something better! SPIN THE WHEEEL!

Oh hell yeah! No more talking, time to play this next one!

Super Xevious

Ahhh, more shump loveliness. I have always been a fan of Xevious, and I don't think this will be an exception.

And it isn't! It is just pure distilled shump action. Not much fluff to it. Slow moving, top to bottom movement, enemies of predictable movements. Not much on the side of power ups or missles or enemies, but what do you expect from a game from 1984?

Suffice to say I played it for a good 15 minutes, nice good relxation game really, very low stress game. I like it!

Gametap has the game rated at 7.4, I say it deserves a 7.
9 out of 958 games complete.

All I can say, is NEXT! Spinnerrup!

Ha! Oh me oh my... this should be.. interesting, to say the least. Well, might as well get it over with.

Hoyle Children's Collection

So... a card game game! Yay! Lets see, it has a 4.5 rating... optimistic much? Lets give'r a whirl!

First off I must say, WOW. Not to it's quality of game, but the fact that the game is 272.6 MB! Thats huge for a game with several card games. Anywho, there was about a 15 minute gap just for this game. And what is it? THREE GAMES. Crazy Eights, Old Maid, and Checkers. Whoopie.


Gametap says 4.5, I say 3.
10 out of 958 games complete.
1.04% complete! Yay!

*eyes the wheel*

OH ok, ONE MORE!

Er, ok! My first Neo Geo game! Excitement! I loved Neo Geo back in the day, so, lets see how it holds up.

Cyber-Lip

Mmmm, did you just give me some cyber-lip, boy? Didja? DIDJA? Well we'll see about that. Well, I smacked it upside its head for that, you know why? It is nothing but a sad Metal Slug rip off. WHICH is made even more sad by the fact that it was made by SNK Playmore, the same people who MADE Metal Slug. I tried to get a screen cap for you, but, my computer seemed the hate the game enough to not let me cap it. Oh well. Just imagine Metal Slug, or Gunstar Heroes, just less good.

Gametap say 5.6.
Mookie say 4.
11 out of 958 games complete.

Zooom! The insanity continues.

Got Bored

Yeah, got bored not posting, so I decided to come back.

SO, I took another spin on the wheel, only to be heartbroken with the COMING SOON for Thief: Deadly Shadows, one of my personal favorite games. Well, guess I'll get around to it when it actually gets added. For now, time to take another spin.

Oh yay... another Atari 2600 game. 4.0 rating. Well, lets get it over with.


Sky Jinks

Well ok, Sky Jinks isn't that bad. Its one of the better 2600 games I've ever played. Basically what you do is hold down one button (V) and use the arrows keys to slalom past various obstacles of death and pain, such as trees, power lines, balloons and, what I GUESS are slalom posts. Though I have way of being sure at all.

Truthfully, I had a good time playing it, I reminded me a lot of SkiFree, one of my favorite old DOS games. So yeah, I recommend.


Gametap says 4.0, I say 6.
6 out of 958 complete.

Well, nothing better to do, might as well take another spin and keep on going until I get tired or something better comes up.
Here we go.

SPIN SPIN LETS GO ROUND!

Oooooooo! An arcade "Shump," or shoot em up, by Capcom! And a 7.3 rating! I'm excited. Lets giver a whirl, shall we?

Vulgus

What can I say? It's a competent enough shump. It has shooting, enemies, and you scroll upwards while collecting powerups. Oh, and it's hard. It can't be a shump and not be hard.

The best part is that the game was made in 1984, and looks really good for being so old, so it gets props from me for that.

Gametap has it ranked at a 7.3, I say it deserves a 7. So, works out. Next please!


7 out of 958 complete.

Lets Pray for More Quickies

So, I take another spin and I find myself on the most joyus of joys, the Atari game Fun with Numbers which carries an awesome 2.0 rating.

Well, gotta play em all.

Fun with Numbers

Right off the bat, I am confused as all hell. Now, I was a late eighties kid. I missed the whole Atari scene, hell, I mostly missed the NES scene, though I did play with it well into the mid 90's, but even after trying to think back to the mentality of the era, I can't see the enjoyment in this. My god, I can barely tell what I supposed to do! And it's got the audacity to be called fun with numbers! Really, what I see is, a puke green background, with a number 9 with a plus sign to the left of it. The game is now asking me to input a number above it. I have now tried 6 numbers and the game has yelled at me for all of them. It then asks me what 6 divided by 4 is. A real calculator tells me it's 1.5, which is all well and good until a realize I can enter decimal places. Then it hits me, the game is trying to tell me something... 1.5... OH! It's telling me its deserved score!

Gametap Score = 2.0
My Score = 1.0
2 out of 958 complete.

NEXT! SPIN THAT WHEEL!

Oh joy! A Sega arcade game from... 1979... It's time for...

HEAD ON!

So I have a bit more hope for this game, as it holds a 5.1 on the ol' rating board, and 5.1 usualy symbolizes "fun, but not to interesting... or fun for that long." What I find is exactly that. Head On seems to be a weird hybrid of Pac-man and Off Road Rally. The gist of it is you are a car, and you are driving in one direction while picking up dots for points, while the "evil" red car is doing the same... IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. *revealing organ music cue* There are multiple "lanes" in which you can switch to very stiffly, all while trying to avoid crashing into the EVIL RED CAR, who seems intent on killing himself along with you.

I actually ended up playing this game for a good ten minutes and actually enjoyed myself. It's not very deep or nearly as strategic as some arcade games, but it was at least good fun for a bit.

Gametap ranks it as 5.1, I say it deserves a 6.
3 out of 958 complete.

SPIN SPIN SPINARUUU!

Oooooo, an Intellivision game. Another system from before my time. Here we go!

Night Stalker

So apparently I'm some secret spy, who's been caught... and now I'm in the evil guys labyrinth of doom or something... and I need to get out. Compelling! Lets see how I do!

Well, the controls are slow and unresponsive at best, but it controls well enough. Long story short, you are chased by a robot, you get out of your cage, get chased around, get a gun, and fight back. All while scoring points. Wasn't that fun, if you ask me.

Gametap Score =5.4
My Score = 4
4 out of 958 complete.

Time to spin it right round baby, right round.

Alright! An arcade game! I loves me some arcade games. Has a nice 6.3, lets see how it fares.

Return of the Invaders

Thats right, its what you think it is. This is the sequel to Space Invaders. Whats that you say? Didn't know they made a Space Invaders sequel? While, prior to about 10 seconds ago, neither did I. Does it stand up to the original? Lets see.

Wow, so, yeah. Thats actually a really really good game. For all ostensive purposes, the game is just Space Invaders with color, good color mind you, more dynamic enemies, and actual music. I actually had a real good time playing this one and could imagine playing it again in the future.


GameTap score = 6.3
My score = 7
5 out of 958 complete.

And thats it for now. Food and a break, maybe some more real soon.